I’m in a love/hate relationship with my bed

I would definitely say that I have a love/hate relationship with my bed.

Due to my medication side effects, fatigue from bipolar depression, and the pain and lethargy from fibromyalgia, I spend a great deal of time in bed.

When I am ill, I often can not stay awake or can not face the world. It can be difficult to cope with the pain or to get out of bed at all on bad days. During these times my bed provides a comfortable, safe and quiet place I can rest and wait until the storm passes.

However the amount of time I have to be in bed when I wish I could be up and functioning,  doing other things, makes me resent this time I have to spend there. I would much rather be awake, functioning and part of the world, instead of wasting my time lying down. This is a constant battle in my head, because when I am ill being in bed gives me a place to recover and to stay safe, without it I don’t think I could cope with my illness.

However I want to battle the fatigue and get up, and function. In the long run I know that resting allows me to cope, but the resentment of my illnesses and fatigue for taking this time away from me, is always a residual presence in the back of my mind.

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